drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you would pick up someone in the library
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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