is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
