i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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