hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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