Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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