Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
