he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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