best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
