I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
