It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
