i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
