Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
