All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
