Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
