i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
