just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
