I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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