Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
