Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
