Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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