I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
