im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
