Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
