those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
