He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it's like iHOP with fire
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
