He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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