It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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