is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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