Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
