I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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