they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
