the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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