he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
