It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
