Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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