I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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