MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
