What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
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