just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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