the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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