we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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