do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Green mimosas i think yes
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Randomize
