i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
