So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All the doctor said was why
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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