don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
