This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
