this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
