Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
