his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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