so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
