At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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