i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
